Dress-up time!!!!

Cameron wearing Owen's old Donald costume & my wig.

The pirate pants were too big for Owen so, he said, "Who needs em?"

A preview of Sawyer's costme for this year! He loves it!!!

Happy Birthday, Braden!! What's the party like in heaven?

Today is Brady's birthday! He would be 6-years-old today. I am sitting her wondering how to process this event. So, lets say, there isn't just one way to feel. I have been fluctuating between all of them.

crap....gotta tend to kids....will finish this post later.

I have this argument with myself. I say, celebrate him. Remember how fun he was and how much Sawyer loved him. Remember how much he loved to dance to the Wiggles but how he didn't move during the entire live concert. Remember how funny it was that he never wanted to take his shoes off at my house. :) I want to be happy for him, for the gifts he gave us and for the opportunity to have known him, even if it was only for 3 yrs. I say, "Live for him. Don't forget him but don't stop living in that happiness he brought instead of constantly getting sad when I think of him."

Still, there is such a huge part of me that just wants to be sad for him. I can't imagine how it must be for his parents. I can't imagine how hard it is to have lost a part of themselves like that. What are they doing today? I am not sure how they do it or what they do but, I do hope that soemday, his birthday present to them will be that they are able to live with the light that he gave them, rather than dwelling in the darkness he left. I am sure it is an unrealistic expectation. I don't know (thank God) what that level of grief is like...and I hope I don't sound crass by saying it....but I do hope that they will find definitions for their lives other than the death of their son. They have a beautiful daughter now, did you know that? He name is Hope. Isn't that perfect??? 

So, today, I looked up photos from his last birthday parties. He had two when he turned three. One was with his preschool crew where everyone dressed up and then he had another smaller one with just a few family and friends. He was sooooo cute! Here's a slideshow of those photos.

Brady. I love you. We love you. I see you pictures in my hallway and see Boy Doggie on Sawyer's bed every night. While our lives are continuing, you are very much a part of our stories and have helped to shape us into the people we are. You were a blessing, still are. I hope you are having an amazing birthday today and that you heard the Happy Birthday Song coming from our house. Give your family a boost today.

Sawyer's Birthday!

Click on the photo to see the album of today's photos!!!

Today was a beautiful day. I am sitting here watching Iron Man 2 while my husband is out with the guys, thinking about how amazingly blessed I am.

Anyway, this morning, Sawyer, who is normally as hard as a teenager to wake up, came bounding into our room announcing that he had grown overnight. of course, right? He is six now! :) He was so excited. he had this huge grin plastered from ear to ear and just kept leaping from Eddie to me giving us hugs.

We threw Sawyer and Owen's clothes on, had them eat a granola bar and Eddie took them on a surprise trip for donuts. Eddie took the day off of work today to hang with Sawyer and get ready for his weekend trip. So, after donuts, the whole fam took sawyer to school and participated in Friday Fitness. Then, an hour later, Eddie got to drop Owen off at his beloved little preschool class.

We hung out at home for a few hours with Cameron & Gavin (the boy I babysit) then started the pick-up routine. Owen is done at 1pm so Eddie picked him up & we raced around for 45 minutes packing for the evening's activities.

We got to Sawyer's class a few minutes before school was out and he got to pass out superhero cupcakes. He was so excited and took the job very serious. The kids were in heaven and covered in chocolate frosting in no time.

We scooted out of school (dropping cupcakes off with the principal and Sawyer's kindergarten teacher) and headed off to Sea World for the dolphin encounter!!! This was the gift Eddie and I decided to give to Sawyer and it was awesome!

After Sea World, Sawyer got to pick out his choice of restaurant (or 'dinner place') and are you curious to know his selection??? Denny's!!!!

The kids were amazing all day and i am so in love with my husband. Who could ask for more!

I am sorry if my storytelling seems a little choppy this evening. As I previously mentioned, I am watching Iron Man 2 and it is nearly midnight so my attention is a bit divided.